READ THIS

i just find it so pathetic that you'd google yourself everyday or even have the audacity to google my name. are you that desperate?! are you just so full of yourself?!

well since you want to read my blog...go ahead. read it. I DON'T CARE.

do you think that will threaten me, that it would make me a coward and that i would back down on a fight? well then, NEWSFLASH, i don't think so...

you can read my blog all you want. you can read everything i write about you. read every single word that i write just for you. i just hope that your brain can register that they're meant for you...

i hate you and that's that...it will never change...hate...despise...loathe...
those words are perfect for you...

I miss those days...

a poem i wrote...out of the blue
am i really that pathetic to have written this?
or am i just a terribly and utterly sad, depressed girl?


I miss those days when we were fine,
When I was yours and you were mine

I miss those days you held me tight,
You kept me close all through the night

I miss those days you wiped my tears,
You drove away all my doubts and fears

I miss those days you whispered my name,
And I was reassured you felt the same

I miss those days I’ve been with you,
I miss your voice, your touch,
Your kiss, warmth and love
Those ideal moments I thought were true

But then again what I miss the most,
Is you, yourself, and nothing else comes close…

I miss those days we spent together,
When you used to promise me,
It would last forever…

Tonight I Can Write

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example,'The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me sometimes, and I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voide. Her bright body. Her inifinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my sould is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.


practically everyone wrote a blog about this...it's funny isn't it? it's amazing how simple words can leave a great impact on us. probably...everyone who had their heart broken can relate to this. it's sad thing...love...you just don't know what to do with or without it. truly, it's complicated. no person could ever find the right words to it.

it's so peculiar that a simple i love you can make your day...

and what's even more peculiar is that by simply adding one more word, it can completely destroy you. all that's left is pain...cold, ruthless, shattering pain... at times you think you can no longer survive. you reminisce the wonderful memories you had and all the more you feel the pain stabbing at your heart...breaking it into a million pieces...



Love...such a fickle thing...it's amzaing how it affects us all.

Immobilized...

last nov. 13 a freak accident occured...ok now i'm sounding like a reporter..anyway
i twisted my knee again and moved my kneecap out of place..yipee!!! hooray for me...
can my life get any worse???

me and my clumsy self...first things first...it wasn't because of over excitement...(don't believe what other people tell you...especially when they are such...nevermind)

so i have a lot of things to cross of my list...intrams...outbound...and much more..hopefully not the upcoming retreat...hopefully.

so after three weeks i'll have this stupid immobilizer removed and if i can walk properly without pain i'm fine...and if not...say hello to the MRI. if they find a tear in any of my ligaments...well hello operating room as well and bye bye to everything i was planning to do...

all i wanna do is stand close to you...

i'm sad...utterly and undeniably depressed
i must admitt...this was the shortest time i could handle it...
it's hard to miss someone who doesn't miss you back
and it hurts to love someone who doesn't love you back...
but i don't know why i keep on holding on to the impossible
when i know that i'd only end up hurt and confused
i let go of the others for this
but how am i supposed to let go of this one
when this made me forget about it all
how do you forget someone who made you forget about everything else?

i've been through this a thousand times
how come i can't move on through this one?
why do i keep looking back with hope in my eyes
when i know that it's never gonna happen
every word, song, expression cuts me deep
but i still hold on to it as if the pain is nothing
even if i'm already bleeding i still hold on to it
no matter how much it hurts
i'd rather get hurt while it's with me than lose it and get hurt twice as much

you can call me stupid but i don't care
you can call me blind i don't give a damn

hanging on by thread...i just can't seem to let go
even though i know i won't get anything back
here i am...still waiting
even though i'm waiting for nothing...

i tried...i really did

it's been only 3 days since the last time...but i really can't handle it. i always get these emotional breakdowns. i don't care if everyone reads this now...i just need to let it out. damn.

i tried to forget...i really did...but it just too hard. i can't erase those damn memories. it seems that everytime i try to forget the memories just flood back to me. i just can't take it anymore. but i can't do anything at all...nothing...except cry...cry...CRY!!!

all i can do is cry until my tears run dry. but even if they do...the pain is still there. it will never go away. and it seems that nothing can take it away. nothing at all...

why? why is this happening? all because of one thing...one stupid and crazy thing that shouldn't have started in the first place...damn!

Lolah D Just called me...

it was an unexpected phone call. I was seriously expecting it to be "him" but when i picked up the phone it was none other that Lolah D. At first I was scared. i didn't know what she wanted to talk about. Then I figured maybe it was when she saw me crying this morning. It turns out I was right. She asked me what happened and I told her it had something to do with my family.

I was really touched when she started to give me advice. she seemed so interested. she even talked about her grandchildren. I never expected that having a heart-to-heart with mrs. dacutan would actually be interesting...and it was on the phone! I now have newly found phonepal!

MIGHTY BOND AFTERMATH

Ok... After I read aira's blog in multi (you guys better read it) i felt like writing this. It's really annoying when people keep on pissing you off. It just is! It's irritating and I hate the fact that they are simply just malicious lies created by everyone's stupid imagination! When will this madness end?!

I will say this words right now and I hope I will never have to reeat this. I AM NOT IN LOVE, OR WAS IN LOVE WITH AIRA PALMA. I AM NOT, WAS OR EVEN WILL BE BISEXUAL. I'M STRAIGHT AND THAT'S THAT! Do you guys get the picture?! Or maybe I have to spell it out for you guys? Trust me, it won't be nice...you haven't seen me angry yet. When i have tantrums, that's just a glimpse of it but i tell you, YOU HAVEN'T seen me angry yet!

You already saw me cry yesterday. And i hate crying about nonsense things but you already made me feel so infuriated! It's just irritating. How would you feel if others did that to you? Sure it may be a joke to you guys, but to us, it isn't. It's not nice. You don't know how awkward it feels.

I just want to thank those few people who actually care about how we feel and know when to stop...

and to aira...i'm sorry for this nonsense stuff and i wish they would finally end.

Sweet 16

it was great...i had two celebrations. one was on Sept. 1 with Janine and May at ice cream house. the food was great. it was perfect...especially their floats...it's heaven! i can't wait to go back there...

the second one was last Sept. 6 with Ana, Aira, Raz, Tanya and Steph. we had so much fun. we ate at Bubba Gump. I practically force fed everyone to finish the food. hahaha...raz said i had food enough for the army. hahaha. We ate so much shrimp...hahaha...we all said we weren't having shrimp for a year...TRAUMATIZED BY THE SHRIMP...

aira had to go home early...but it was okay since she did come after all...(thanks!) so we met up with steph and tried on gowns at landmark for the mythology thing...we saw this guy (gay?) with an enormous hat! it was so freakin big!

well anyway...then we went to DQ...raz and i have new names...you may call us, REZ and YABBI...stupid cashier...hahaha
the tanya followed...she finished my ice cream...hahahaha..

i had so much fun...although a lot weren't able to come, it was still a super fun day.

Mythology and a Surprise

so today we found out who would be our charcaters for the dramatic monologue. I got Eris, the goddess of discord. I was so happy. i wanted that character so much. Thanks to bes...for exchanging with me...i was supposed to be the furies...but i like eris so much...

she was the one who started the trojan war...all because of the golden apple.


anyway...aves surpised me today while i was monitoring the staircase. she gave me a box of milk tea for my birthday (although she was 4 days ahead)...hahaha

i love you so much aves!

END OF THE FIRST QUARTER OF HELL

finally exams are over...i'm free at last...

but that just means another quarter is about to start...so another cycle of hell is coming our way
ugh...i'm so tired.

anyway, after exams i went to macy's house to finish our media arts project. it turned out good. although there were a little bit of flaws but it still came out good. i'm proud of our group.

then i met some of macy's friends. and for the first time i finally have a friend from claret (i know...) and i met his cousin from the states. finally, someone i can relate to. a fellow fil-am...hahaha.... we were conversing in english and he was so funny cause he had this sort of dry sarcasm. i had a pretty good time at their place. they were really friendly.


now...here's the freaky part of my story. i left their place at about 6:15 and we waited for a taxi until 7 when i finally got one. and the driver was really creepy. first he asked what school i was from. of course he guessed it was stc. then he asked what year i was in. i lied and said i was in 2nd year (good thing he didn't see my patch). then he asked how old i was and i said i was 14....god the lies kept on going. he really creeped me out when he asked if i had a boyfriend. i said no. then he told me about some of his passengers. (some were of the same sex) who practically swapped saliva with each other in the back seat. god....weird much. and then he said that he interviewed some of his passengers from various schools and he found out they weren't virgins anymore.

i don't even know why he told me that...it was seriously freaky. and what annoyed me most was the traffic. we were stuck there for an hour. he was nice enough though to let me pay half of the fare and just ride a jeepney the rest of the way....

this was a really freaky day...

UPCAT aftermath and MONDAY blues

so my freakin UPCAT sched was last sunday 6:30 in the morning. i woke up at about 3:30 and left here at around 4:30. So i kind of told my uncle we'd ther at about 5 and it's too early. i sat alone on the benches for about 45 minutes. i was so relieved when they let us enter the building early.

and then the exams started...god i can still feel the pressure. it was actually easy except for the math. they were all figure. ugh...the time wasn't enough. i think i won't pass....grrr....

and their questions...in an alternate world + is -....what the hell??? i really threw up after the test. my head was completely spinning..

then at school today, it was everyone's topic. hahahaha...we all had funny experiences.

today was such a drag...we we're all scolded at by the principal and not to mention practically all our teachers. what's up with us? is our batch that irresponsible???

and not to mention...Sir Zaraspe just keeps on annoying whenever he gets the chance to---that means EVERYDAY!!! every freakin day. at least there are times i have something against him....hahahha

SHATACKS!!! hahahaha so gay....

and he doesn't believe that i'm an OS

Sir: calma, magaling ka ba sa math?
Me: ewan ko po...kayo...bahala kayo
Sir: oh ano, sasama ka ba sa bayumbong? (smirks with an evil glare)
Me: sige sir basta kayo and ililibing
Sir: (evil laugh) ano ba grade mo sa socsci last year?
Me: di ko po alam kung line of 9 or nag 89 ako
Sir: ows? hindi ba line of 7?
Me: Ha? grabe kayo ah...
Aves: sir, OS kaya yan
Me: oo nga sir...OS ako...CONSISTENT
Sir: OS ka ba??? (he then asks others) sino ba adviser niyo last year?
Me: OS ako...tanunging niyo pa si Ms. Blanco or si Ms. Gino pati na rin si Ms. Rodeo!
Sir: ows...(leaves while laughing)

god he makes my skin crawl everytime....grr...annoying...

SHATACKS!!! hahahaha....it still makes me laugh....so gay

50 Things Girls Want Guys To Know

I just felt like posting this. probably cause i never got the chance to experience this yet...
or maybe just cause...



1. Don't freakin' tell us when you think other girls are hot.

2. Whenever possible during our favorite show, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

3. If you don't act like soap-opera guys, then don't excpect us to dress like Victoria Secret models.

4. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. That's a must.

5. There is NO such thing as TOO MUCH spooning.

6. We think about you all the time. And I mean ALL the time.

7. This is how we see it... you don't call = you don't care.

8. Which also means that if we don't call, take the hint.

9. We like you to be a little jealous, but overly-possessive is not necessary.

10. Being able to make us laugh is so much more important than how much you can bench press.

11. Return the favor...we massage, you massage...

12. Show us your romantic side every once in a while, we love it.

13. We're allowed to be late...you are not.

14. Eye contact is key.

15. Don't take longer to get ready than we do.

16. Laugh at our jokes.

17. Three words...honesty, honesty, honesty.

18. Girls can be groupies, guy groupies are stalkers...

19. Tell us we're gorgeous or beautiful instead of hot or sexy.

20. Do not start with us...you will not win.

21. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? ...Didn't think so.

22. If you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way.

23. We will never have enough clothes or shoes.

24. We have an excuse to act bitchy, at least once a month.

25. Open the door for us no matter where we are... even at our house or getting into a car.

26. We LOVE surprises!

27. We like to be kissed softly, not with an iron tongue.

28. Pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most.

29. Boxers and maybe boxer briefs but.....NEVER whitey-tighties!

30. Clean your room before we come over.

31. Always brush your teeth before you see us...a clean mouth and white teeth are a necessity

32. Love u, love you, luv u and love ya are totally different than I Love You.

33. Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we have.

34. Don't ask us to do things that we aren't ready for.

35. Don't act jerkish and ignore us around your friends.

36. Sometimes NO! really means NO!

37. "Wife Beaters" are not always an adequate form of fashion.

38. Do not bring up an ex-girlfriend, unless we ask.

39. Sensitive guys are great, but crying more than we do in a movie just isn't right.

40. Don't let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough.

41. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.

42. Guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman.

43. "Fat Chicks" have feelings too.

44. Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks from us all add up to... YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!

45. The excuse "I can't dance" is unacceptable...we'll appreciate the simple fact that you're trying.

46. Just because a girl doesn't pick up on the first ring, doesn't mean she's not waiting by the phone.

47. You don't have to spend a lot if it means a lot.

48. Don't say you love me if you don't mean it.

49. Do not lie to us...we will catch you, trust me.

50. When the girls get together, we talk about everything...meaning my best friend knows everything about you!


damn...i'm being so dramatic right now...great...just great

Names...

so min and i had nothing to do during religion. we were making up slogans for our names...

MIN: I'm Not MEAN. You're just a SISSY...

ME: You mess with CALMA, you mess with KARMA

then we had the tagalog ones:

MIN: Ako'y salbahe, Carmina Buenviaje

ME: Walang kokontra kay Gabrielle Calma

okay...so funny...hahaha and then i had some fun with Tanya and Inah (his...) we translated tanya's poem into tagalog. it was so funny. I couldn't forget this line: The warmth of your hand = Ang mainit-init mong kamay...hahahaha

and then joke time with Lolah D...hahaha fishball gags of Karlapot...

UPCAT SCHED

okay so this is my schedule....

Aug. 3 = 6:30 am = college of architechture

yup....so i haven't found anyone yet who has the same sched as me....

damn it...i guess i'll be away from civilization that day....

good luck nlng...

PHYSICS

Group 2 eto na ung data:



Objectives: (eto ung original pero sabi ni miss dapat daw palitan in your own words.)

1. to be able to determine which measuring device is appropriate for the given item.
2. To be strategic in knowing the data especially with the steel ball.
3. to know how to properly use the vernier caliper.
4. to have the determination in performing the experiment.



Procedure: (dapat drawing/flowchart/diagram)

1. prepare all the materials and then time when the group started.
2. To get the diameter of the ball, place it between two books and then measure the distance between the two books with a ruler. To get the circumference, wrap the sring around the ball and then measure it with a ruler. (Hint: if you are working on a black or dark surface place a sheet of white paper under it.)
3. To get the length of the cube, measure one edge of the face in cm and then in inches using the ruler. Do this in 3 more trials.
4. to get the mass of the metal strip, weight it using a triple beam balance in the grams scale.
5. Record all observations and the time the group finished on the data sheet provided.



Computations: (pinalitan ung data given so palitan niyo na din ung sa %difference natin)

% difference of steel marble:
a. diameter = AV-EV * 100%
AV
= 2.53 - 2.7 * 100%
2.53
= 6.72%
b. circumference = AV-EV * 100%
AV
= 7.948 - 8 * 100%
7.948
= 0.65%


Analysis: Kayo na gumawa.


Conclusion:
Different measuring tools are made for different purposes. It's just the matter of knowing which device is appropriate for a certain object.

Birthday Month Personality...

I was like browsing in multiply and i saw this in Macy's blog...

Know Yourself.
1. Pick your birth month.
2. Italize out anything that doesn't apply to you.
3. Bold the ones that best apply to you.
4. Underline whatever is sometimes true.

JANUARY:Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY:Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom and rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH:Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems.

APRIL:Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY:Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE:Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

AUGUST:Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered (HELL YEAH!). Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER:Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER:Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Indecisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER:Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never gives up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER:Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.


Ok so medyo natawa ako dun...walang july...and to think na july 1 ngayon. hahaha

Laughstock...

i'm not sure why we had so much fun today even if we were so sleepy. in most of our subjects we were constatntly laughing. even the teachers were like not themselves today.

PHYSICS:
Mrs. RDK: so the MV princess of the stars...dahil nakataub ung ship nahirapan ung mga skydivers na gawin ung rescue mission dahil mas malakas ung pressure sa ilalaim ng tubig at mahirap bumalik sa surface.
Aves: Skydivers? hala...ano un galing sila sa langit tsaka nag dive pababa? hahahaha...
Me: Anong skydivers? hahaha nanggaling sa plane bago sila nag dive. kaya pala nahirapan sila bumalik sa surface. nasa sky ung sasakyan nila...hahahaha

if you didn't get it...it was supposed to be scuba divers but Mrs. RDK said skydivers accidentally.

anyway we also had laughs in other subjects but this was the most memorable. we also had fun during trigo because of min's sudden outbursts.

TRIGO:
Min: Ouch!
Me: hala? ano nangyari sayo? may masakit ba?
Min: (sudden laughter) kinurot ata si George Bush nasaktan ako!

ok...so that was really funny. and of course...i'm not forgetting about Aves....
she was blushing madly during trigo...i don't know if she really does have a crush but i just like making fun of her (revenge...hahahaha) she kept on denying that she was blushing.

Nats: namumula talaga siya oh...
Aves: hindi kaya
Me: oo kaya...grabe nga eh
Aves: nag cheek tint kaya ako (shows the bottle)
Me: eh bakit pati ilong mo namumula? ano yun nose tint? hahaha
Min: weh... nose tint...
Aves: hindi talaga...
Me: eh bakit pati nuo mo. wag mo sabihin pati yan nilagyan mo din.
Min: hindi...nauntog yan eh...kakaisip.

this was a pretty fun day although it didn't start out good in the morning. well it's all because of her...FORESIGHT...i don't really care about it. but that's what she keeps on drilling in our minds. Gosh! sometimes...i just get so irritated.

18 Signs You're Falling in Love

this is just some random thing i saw in the net...just read it...
dunno if you can relate to it...

EIGHTEEN :
you get so jealous when someone comment them saying they are cute

SEVENTEEN:
You look at their profile constantly

SIXTEEN:
When you're on the phone with them late at night and they hang up, you still miss them even when it was just two minutes ago

FIFTEEN:
You read their Texts and Ims Over and over again

FOURTEEN:
You walk really slow when you're with them

THIRTEEN:
You feel shy whenever they're around

ELEVEN:
When you think about them, your heart beats faster but slower at the same time

TEN:
You smile when you hear their voice

NINE:
When you look at them, you can't see the other people around you, you just see him/her

EIGHT:
You start listening to slow songs while thinking about them

SEVEN:
They're all you think about

SIX:
You get high just from their scent

FIVE:
You realize you're always smiling when you're looking at them

FOUR:
You would do anything for them!

THREE:
You blush when u hear their name

TWO:
You were so busy thinking about that person, you didnt notice number twelve was missing

ONE:
You just scrolled up to check and you are now silently laughing at yourself


yeah...i know it's stupid...hahahaha well whatever

A Nightmare to Remember

it's been practically more than a month already since this happened. i only felt like writing about it now. it happened (March 22) the night before the fiesta (March 23) at our barrio in pampanga. every year there was what we call "terrakan" or in tagalog "sayawan". i always go there at about 10 pm and of course come home the next day at 3 am. this time thought we left early at about 8 to "watch basketball". actually we didn't go to the court. instead we met with our guy friends along with my guy to have a few drinks at our friend's house. ok so maybe not a few. we had 2 long-neck bottles of EMPERADOR brandy. (damn....bangungot!)

we were 3 girls and 2 guys. apparently our other guy friends, along with my cousin, were at the court watching the game. we didn't bother to wait for them and started with the first bottle. Reng2 (the first girl) was knocked out with only 2 shots while jet(the 2nd girl) she was the one giving the shots was knocked out as well after a few shots. so we were only 3 left. before they were knocked out our friend kuya dek shared his life story. it was so sad, all of us were crying. that's how the 2 girls got drunk. then when we finished the first bottle kuya dek asked if i wanted to see a picture of his ex-wife (live-in actually) i said yes so we went upstairs. soon the rest followed including our other guys friends. they also brought another guy along (someone i hated so much) but since we came there to have fun i simply ignored him. we were having the 2nd bottle, i told the 2 girls to rest and not join anymore since they were so drunk. we were half way through when i felt that i needed to got to the bathroom. so i told my guy that i needed to go and he said to follow kuya dek, he'll take me there.

well when we went down, apparently kuya dek's brother had some visitors. and that's when everything went haywire. one of his visitors was kuya boyet(a relative of mine) he was severely drunk (or maybe even worse). he didn't recognize me and asked kuya dek to introduce me. of course i knew so i said: "kuya boyet, ako toh. si gabbey. di mo ba ako nakikilala?" he just looked at me closely and nodded his head. then kuya dek pulled me away and we walked towards the bathroom. he took me to our friend Alfie's house because they're bathroom was occupied. thankfully i wasn't drunk at all (i was surprised though coz everyone else was.) i was only dizzy. he waited for me outside and when i was done, we started to walk back when kuya boyet appeared out of nowhere and started to pull me aggressively.

i was shocked and didn't know what to do. he kept on yelling that i was drunk and that he's taking me home. but of course i tried to pull away from him because first i wasn't drunk and second i still had to go to the "terrakan". kuya dek then intervened and said we weren't doing anything wrong and he should just relax. then kuya boyet started shouting at him that this wasn't his business and then punched him.

they started attacking each other and fell to the ground. i was so scared at the moment and started crying. all of the neighbors came out to see what was happening. some of them knew me (but i didn't know them) and pulled me away from the scene while they tried to stop it. right then, my guy's mother (i didn't know that was her yet) saw me and pulled me away and brought me to her house trying to calm me down. she stayed by my side along with his older sister, while trying to comfort me. i stopped for a while but when my cousin came looking for me i ran to his arms and began crying again (i know...cry baby much...but it was so scary)

then the rest of my guy friends came to my side trying to calm me down. i looked for jet2 and reng2 and they said they went back to our place looking for me because they didn't know where i was. then i asked where my guy was. they told me he was at his house crying as well because he didn't know where i was. he thought i was hurt or molested by kuya boyet. then kuya dek said he'll take me there to introduce me to my guy's family. i was scared...but i calmed down and followed him. on the way, kuya boyet approached us along with kuya dek's brother and apologized to us.

when i arrived at their house, i met his parents and saw him sitting on the sofa. his knuckles were slightly bleeding. (jet2 later then told me that he punched a door and broke it out of rage.) jet2 came then along with my cousin and i filled her in with the details. i talked to his mother and she told me that everything was gonna be fine and i should just relax. they'll fix things so that i wouldn't get in trouble.

i was thankful for that. and after a bit of rest we all proceeded to the "terrakan" and i was glad that reng2 was there. i thought she went back to their house.

that was the worse day of my life. i can never forget what happened.

GABBEYology

TECHNOLOGY

Q. What is your wallpaper on yourcomputer?
- some random artwork

Q. How many televisions you have inyour house?
- 2


BIOLOGY

Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
- right

Q. Have you ever had anything removedfrom your body?
- dunno....a tooth?

Q. What is the last heavy item youlifted?
- a mattress

Q. Have you ever been knocked out?
- by a fist...no...but by alcohol...not yet either...matindi toh. hahaha


BULLSHITOLOGY

Q. If it were possible, would you wantto know the day you were going to die?
- not in a million years

Q. If you could change your name, whatwould you change it to?
- um...Gweneviere Maison? hahaha

Q. What color do you think looks beston you?
- blue and...(although i hate this) pink...mostly pastel

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-fooditem?
- umm...don't think so...and not planning to


DAREOLOGY

Q. Would you kiss a member of the samesex for $100?
- sure...hahaha

Q. Would you allow one of your littlefingers to be cut off for $200,000?
- are you freakin' crazy?!

Q. Would you never blog again for$50,000
- sure. un lng pala eh.

Q. Would you pose naked in a magazinefor $250,000?
- excuse me?! i repeat...are you freakin' crazy?!

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle ofhot sauce for $1000?
- i don't wanna kill myself...

Q. Would you, without fear ofpunishment, take a human life for$1,000,000?
- do i even have to answer this?


NEVERDUMBOLOGY

Q: What is in your left pocket?
- wala ko suot naun1 haha JOKE la pocket eh.

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a goodmovie?
- nope

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet inyour house?
-sa philippines...none of this... sa states both

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
- stand...

Q: How many pairs of flip flops do youown?
- umm...where to start? haha


LASTOLOGY
Q: Last person who texted you?
- james

Q: Last person who called u?
- james

Q: Person you hugged?
- tanya...


FAVORITOLOGY

Q: Number?
- 25...and 18 (uuy...)

Q: Season?
- winter

Q: Color?
- green, blue, silver, black


CURRENTOLOGY

Q: Missing someone?
- of course

Q: Mood?
- troubled...

Q: Listening to?
- take you there by sean kingston

Q: Watching?
- nothing

Q: Worrying about?
- my dad...and james

Q: Wearing?
- shirt and sweat pants...haha


RANDOMOLOGY

Q: First place you went this morning?
- bathroom...haha

Q: What can you not wait to do?
- go back to pampanga and see him

Q: Do you smile often?
- depends...

Q: Are you a friendly person?
- yes...but sometimes it depends...

Exams....

So today we just finished our achievement test...I barely studied for any of them. hahaha. Well it was easy to gues anyway since most of them had choices. But moving on...exam/last week of school is next week. I'm so excited...especially on the 13th because I found out I'm exempted in the chemistry exam. I was so happy so I started jumping up and down. Now all I'm waiting for is Ms. Calero decision. it would be better if I also got it for english so i won't need to study for those. Plus, I'm going to Janine's house to help her with chem. I made a promise to her at the start of the fourth quarter. I just hope she studies hard. She really needs to study to get a sure passing grades.

But one thing I hate is our exams on monday. RELIGION, ALGEBRA AND SOCSCI. What is this? Torture? Those are the 3 hardest subjects and yet they put it together. That's just great. Do they expect us to pass? Hello, we already had a hard time with the achievement test! We barely achieved anything at all. This is just great. At least for tuesday it's geom and pinoi, that's easier.

I just can't wait till the last day of school. Aves and I are planning a countdown. She said we're gonna sing What time is it? from HSM2. hahahaha. I just don't know if she was joking or dead serious about it. hahahaha

Laughtrip

so many things to laugh about for this day. first is our new linggo:

Geroge = now pronounced as jordz
Il Duce = now pronounced as eel doos
Decade = now pronounced as dee-keyd

hahaha...this all happened during our socsci period. avery and i were talking during lessons, as usual hahaha. sir rehoy was discussing something about vladimir lenin.

me: isn't there another guy named vladimir?
aves: yeah. vladmir putin
me: oh yeah! and he's?
aves: the current you know....of russia
me: oh yeah...
aves: super blue nga nung mga mata nia sa pic eh. nagpopop-out!
me: oo nga. ang ganda nung mata niya! hot!
aves: oo
sir rehoy: diba si vladimir lenin ang nagpairal ng komunismo sa russia (we still ignore him as he continues the lesson and create a discussion of our own)
me: si vladimir lenin kaya super hot!
aves: eww, hindi kaya!
me: *stares* that was a joke you know....
aves: oh? (hollers in laughter)

then aves moved her chair but was too lazy to stand up and push it. she just like shoved it to the side with her butt still on the chair. it was so noisy because she was bringing down the chair because of her weight.

me: ano ka ba! uusog ka na nga lang ang brutal mo pa. hahaha. masisira ung upuan sayo eh
aves: hahaha...(she then shows me her soscsci book with a ripped cover)
me: ayan, hindi nga nasira ung upuan napunit mo naman libro mo
aves: yan ang nagbabasa ng cover to cover. hahaha

then we had another one during english. we were discussing robert frost's poem : the road not taken. she asked us if we had a hard time making decisions. then she gave us random things to choose from.

ms. calero: UP or UST
class: half UP half UST
ms. calero: mcdonald's sundae or jollibee sundae?
class: mcdo!
ms. calero: kapuso or kapamilya?
nadine: KAPUSO!!!
class: *laughs*
ms. calero: bandfest or dancepro?
class: bandpro!
ms. calero: lourdes or claret?
class: *eerie silence* (imagine crickets and then hay suddenly rolling across the room and after a few seconds...everyone laughs)
ms. calero: *laughs* that was the exact same reaction of iii4. first they were so noisy and when i gave those two there was this 2 second silence before they all erupted in laughter


other things happened as well today. like in pe we played volleyball which should've probably called wait for the ball instead. hahaha. we spent like the whole period playing a lousy game. hahaha so that was it. can't remember anything else beside this and the fact that sir dm still annoys the hell out of me.

Jam 88.3 = Kooky Tuason's show

So last Feb. 16, selected students went to UP to attend a seminar ( a boring seminar I might add) The only thing I liked was the last part, Performance Poetry by Kooky Tuason. It was so inspiring. Most of her poems are the same style as mine. So anyway, she asked some volunteers to perform their own poems and I was one of them. She said that she will get the numbers of those who performed and ask them to join her show on Saturday Feb. 23 at Jam 88.3

I was so excited. It was such an opportunity. She even said that I wrote well...I was so flattered.

Then I found out the show will start at 9 pm...and guess where Jam 88.3 is...PASIG CITY! Damn that's far from my house! But I still wanna go...

So I told my uncle this night when he arrived from work. Then he gave me a stupid answer: "Asikasuhin mo muna si JP. Diba may exam siya sa sabado..."

Damn it! What do I care about his stupid son...It's not my fault that he's so freakin stupid and he has to put it all on me. He can't even answer 10-6. And he's already in the second grade. So I told him that it's gonna be during the night and then he made this annoying face.

He said: "Wag na! Gabi...kawawa naman si Eddie. Intindihin mo na lng si JP. May pinangakuan na ako sa Sabado eh."

The hell with his idiotic, narrow-minded son! He doesn't even desrve my help. After all of the evil things he did to me. I have a life to and yet they force me to devote it all to their stupid son. They just can't face the fact that he is dumb.

Arggh!!!! I hate them. This is a rare opportunity and they don't even congratulate me! If it has something to do with them they do anything just to get it, even if they have to interfere with my own personal life. But if it has something to do with me...oh no...they don't give a damn! They don't even raise me for all the hard work I did to get to this stage! Damn it!

They know it's one of my dreams to do performance poetry and yet they always crush it. I wanted this so badly. It's so unfair. This is like a once in a liftime experience and they don't even give me the chance to experience it!

REUnight '08

okay so it's been a while since I last posted on my stupid blog...

well anyway, last night was one of the most tiring nights of my life. Counting the general rehearsal during the morning...I guess it should be days intead of nights. We started rehearsal at about 8:20, always filipino time! We were supposed to be starting at 7:30 then it moved to 8 but it ended up in 8:20. But iwasn't there until 8:40 because I had to take the quiz in pinoi...characters of Maganda Pa ang Daigdig. (hope I passed it) So then I caught up with them and sadly, Vane wasn't able to do the rehearsal because of the quiz as well. So moving on with the rehearsal, the 5 of us (me, flixie, castey, olivia, irma) were really nervous and partly annoyed because Ms. Castro keeps on criticizing our every move...even the bands! What was unfair was that they switiched Quatro Uno with Alagad ni Sisa. No offense to Quatro Uno since they played great, but Alagad ni Sisa was awesome! They deserve to play in the latter part where the crowd would be big. Another annoying switch was between band 205 and Perm't to Leave. Itwasn't because of how they played, it was because they didn't tell us. We had to think on the spot because Flixie was already introducing Perm't to Leave. It was a good thing Olivia made a nice save. And the soundsystem! Damn those stupid microphones! They weren't even functioning properly. We were all so tired when we were through. At least they gave us food and Rush (our official drink for that night) after.

So on with the bandfest...we arived there at around 4:30 then Flixie, me and Olivia were thinking of an introduction for the TSC and Sir Rehoy and Ms,. Villavert. Castey was on her way...and Irma was nowhere to be found! When Castey arrived, we found out she was gonna be late. We were so busy there and nervous, we didn't no what to do. Luckily, they waited for the gym to fill before they started. Irma arrived just before we started. It was perfectly fine during the beginning. Really great performances...especially the first group: backstage. Who would've thought that ballerina's could take over the dance floor. Also Sir Rehoy and Ms. Villavert's duet. Who knew they could sing like that? Everything went great until our first guest band.

It was a band called Blue Ketchup. I don't even know who they are! When we announced their name to the audience they were dead silent. Obviously they didn't know them either. Anyway because they took too long to set up we had to keep on blabbing on the stage. We were panicking because we didn't know what else to say. Then we found out that they still weren't done so Syncopado was up next. And we were so annoyed because we already said their stupid profile. So we had to make some adlibs and put in Syncopado's profile. Well that went great...after that, Blue Ketchup was finally ready. when they got on stage they still took too long to set-up. So we kept on blabbing, doing shoutouts...and suddenly, while greeting iii3, I lost my voice. Perfect! Just perfect...

When Blue Ketchup started playing, I felt like crying because I just lost my voice and that wasn't good because we weren't halfway through yet. I still had a lot to do. Ate Pae even rushed outside to buy me water. Thank God she was there! The water hepled...just a little though. My voice was really croaky. When that band was done I had to go back up to introduce Imago with the others. Imago also got on my nerve because they were supposed to play before Blue Ketchup but they were taking all the time in the world to prepare. So right after I introduced them I rushed out to gargle, hoping my voice would come back.

By the way, I found out from ate Frankie Velante that Irma had a little blooper with Imago and Blue Ketchup. She went down to check if Blue Ketchup was ready. She asked some guy who was fixing the guitars.

Irma: "Ready na ba kayo, Blue Ketchup?
Guy: "Umm...no, we're not ready. Kasi hindi kami Blue Ketchup."
Irma: "Ayy...sorry!"

Irma didn't realize that she was asking Imago and not Blue Ketchup. That was a bit insulting on Imago's part and so embarassing for Irma...hahaha.

So next I had to introduce Siesta, and to my delight, my voice came back! Thank God for Siesta! So the bandfest went on as normal, except for the part where Irma had to leave early so I had to fill in for her. But during the end, Exanimo was already playing. That meant we only had one band left which was No Classes. The other guest bands weren't there yet. We were panicking again because that meant to had to keep on stalling once Exanimo was done. Then we Nikki Bau told us that Sinosikat was there already and were now setting up. So once Exanimo was finished we rushed to the stage and did our adlibs until they were ready. Good for us, they were pretty quick and were on the stage while we were saying their profile.

But we still couldn't relax because Typecast wasn't there yet. We were afraid that they wouldn't make it. Kjwan already had to cancel because they said they were arriving late and Mrs. Sacdalan didn't want everyone to go home late. We had to stall again. We interviewed Sinosikat to buy some time. Typecast was almost at the school so we had no choice but to let No Classes play already. Finally Typecast arrived but they needed time to set up. So we tried sending signals to the band to play 2 more songs to buy time. It didn't work because they couldn't see us. Then castey thought of an idea, she wrote "add 2 more songs" at the back of her cuecard and showed it to them, way over the side of the stage. Luckily, one of them read it and told ate Mayen to add 2 more songs. But we weren't saved yet. Once No Classes was done, Typecast was still getting ready. We had to stall by embarassing ourselves. We did shoutouts, asked the audience redundant questions. We even asked them to sing and even ended up trying to make our co-emcees sing. Good thing Ate Pae was brave enough to sing a few notes. Finally Typecast was ready....they were awesome! Definitely worth the embarassment! Of course, I used my VIP access and took pictures with them.

Finally the bandfest was over and my feet were killing me! But the great part was we got to eat with Typecast. hahaha....talk about luck!

I must say that I did extremely embarassing things last night. I don't know what's gonna happen on Monday...oh well...better be ready for it.

Saddest One Yet...

So I just came back from my vacation at Pampanga. I expected it to be fun and exciting like before. It was sort of boring. Even Christmas was boring. Although we had a dance party it was...not as fun as before. Basically everything was boring. The only fun I got out of it was those nights when I got drunk and those mornings when I had hangovers.

That's all I thought that was gonna happen...until things went a little out of hand. I thought it was over and I thought I completely erased every single feeling I had for him but I guess I thought wrong. I kind of feel stupid writing this is my blog but...it is my blog so what the heck.

How come there are people who come and go in our lives but there some who plan to stay...unintentionally. They just do. And no matter how much you want them to leave they just don't. It's so annoying...but you know deep inside you'd rather have them stay than let them go. How come??? Why can't they just leave so you could live in peace? Why do they say they don't want to hurt you when in fact they are hurting you already by just saying that?

I'd never forget that night when I spoke to him. I'd never forget what he said to me. I can't believe I'm falling for him all over again. The thing is...I can't. I shouldn't love him...I don't wanna love him. I guess NeYo and Rihanna's song fits perfectly: Hate That I Love You.


[Rihanna:]
As much as I love you
As much as I need you
And I cant stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile? (No....)

[Ne-Yo:]
You wont let me
You upset me girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forgive (that I was upset)
Can't remember what you did

[Rihanna:]
But I hate...
You know exactly what to do
So that I cant stay mad at you
For too long thats wrong

[Ne-Yo:]
But I hate...
You know exactly how to touch
So that I dont want to fuss..
and fight no more
Said I despise that i adore you

[Rihanna:]
And i hate how much i love you boy (yeah...)
I cant stand how much I need you (I need you...)
And I hate how much I love you boy (oooh whoa..)
But I just cant let you go
And I hate that I love you so (oooh..)

[Ne-Yo:]
You completely know the power that you have
The only one makes me laugh

[Rihanna:]
Said its not fair
How you take advantage of the fact
That I..will be under reason why
And it just aint right

[Ne-Yo:]
And I hate how much I love you girl
I cant stand how much I need you (yeah..)
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just cant let you go
But I hate that I love you so

[Both:]
One of these days maybe your magic wont affect me
And your kiss wont make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...

[Ne-Yo:]
Yeaahhh... Oohh...

[Rihanna:]
As much i love you (as much as I need you)
As much as I need you (oooh..)
As much I love you (oh..)
As much as I need you

[Rihanna:]
And I hate that i love you soooo
And I hate how much i love you boy
I cant stand how much I need ya (cant stand how much I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just cant let you go (but I just cant let you go no..)
And I hate that I love you so
And I hate that I love you so.. soo.....


I asked him to simply look me in the eye and tell me he didn't love me...but he said the opposite, which made things worse. It's happening all over again. He's in better hands with her than me. I guess I should just step down and forget about him.

I hate how much I'm in love with him...this vacation is definitely the saddest one yet...

I can't get you out of my mind....